Are You Setting Limitations That Help You Maintain Strong Boundaries?
Kuan Yin has been helping us through these I Ching Readings to transition from the old economic paradigm based on greed and fear to a new paradigm of co-operation and sustainable prosperity. Her advice springs from the I Ching, an ancient book of divination that follows the flow of the cosmos. Because of that, her advice and instruction comes from a different perspective than ours.
To help you better connect with her assistance, she uses the Intuitive Learning Circles ™ to communicate with you through meditation, affirmations and visualization. Try going through the game first, and if you have questions about how to use the Circles, you can check out Exploring the Intuitive Learning Circles here >
Welcome to the I Ching Reading and Transformation Game for:
Hexagram #60 LIMITATIONS
Setting Limitations for Strong Boundaries ~
“Extravagant behavior and lack of restraint has you into a state of difficulty. If you are now feeling regret over this and not busy placing the blame elsewhere, you will avoid further mistakes.” ~ The I Ching Workbook, R.L. Wing
When people choose to blame others and you happen to be in their crossfires, you are liable to be dumped upon. This tendency is especially common among highly sensitive people.
In this context, when someone is being “dumped upon,” it means they are consciously or unconsciously taking on responsibility for other people’s feelings, karma, behavior, etc. This tendency is unfortunate and can cause great suffering for the “dumpee”. In contrast, it creates quite a bit of freedom for the “dumper”. In fact, a dumper is often feeling overwhelmed and is unconsciously looking for someone to dump upon to get relief. Unfortunately, some people do it on purpose to further their quest for power and control.
This is a form of power based on co-dependence, not integrity.
If you feel you are in such a situation and want to do something constructive to help yourself, you can go through this Transformation Game on Setting Limitations. Simply relax and gaze at the Circles while contemplating the questions or positive affirmations that go with them. Your intuition will come forward and give you the help that you seek.
Begin By Gaging Your Willingness to Change:
If you’re willing to examine your personal habits and are setting LIMITATIONS for yourself that are healthy and life affirming, you can learn to avoid being a dumpee. To get started, ask yourself:
“Have I been willing to let other people dump on me? Have I allowed it to happen a lot in the past?”
“Am I willing to stop this tendency in myself?”
If you have a tendency to be caught off guard by others, now is the time to set stronger LIMITATIONS. Ask your Self, “Am I currently experiencing situations where:
There’s a lot of incompetence or my privacy is being disrespected?
People are noncooperative, argumentative or easily offended?
There is poor health or breakups in friendship or family relations?”
If so, setting LIMITATIONS is definitely called for.
In cases such as these, forceful displays of power will absolutely backfire. Do nothing to confront people in regard to those particular situations and be very conservative with any investment of energy, time or money. Doing so would probably result in a nasty bout of dumping.
The best thing to do when dealing with the “dumper/dumpee” dynamic is to accept what’s happening and take care of yourself very sensibly. Be generous and kind to those you care about and trust, while you stay out of their business. Find new avenues of behavior that genuinely support your well-being.
In these situations, engaging in a co-dependent exchange of emotions will backfire. That’s because whenever you’re caught up in another person’s emotional turmoil, you’re in an excellent energetic position to be dumped upon.
To help yourself, gaze softly at this symbol and imagine that your karmic seeds for harmful or co-dependent habits are burning up.
“I purify my karmic tendency towards self-destruction. I now make a commitment to my higher good.”
“I release my tendency to buy into pity, self-pity, shame, guilt or blame.”
You may be experiencing shock that’s interfering with your ability to be clear about the true source of your weakened boundaries. Relax and use this affirmation to help you release whatever you’re fixated on.
“I let go of guilt trips, mind games or other fixations that cause me harm. “
“I let all rigid thoughts, memories and recurrent images soften and melt away.”
You can use this Circle like a telescope to help you find fixations in your mind and energy field. Once you find one, use the symbol to send a laser beam to break it apart or melt it like an iceberg in the Sun. There may be more than one.
Next, scan your body and energy field to do the same with any denser, hardened energies. You can even do it for the immediate space around you.
Go within and access what’s really important to you in this situation. Acknowledge any indulgences or obstacles that you create for yourself. It’s very difficult to change if you allow the truth to be blocked from your consciousness.
Setting Limitations On How You Contribute to the Problem:
Slow down and use this Circle to help you become aware of how you are approaching projects, plans, organizations and people that aren’t working in your best interest. If you let your thoughts slow down, you can begin to sense what is contributing to your problems. The very awareness of how you are tied into the problem reveals possible solutions.
“I slow down and pay attention… is there something about this situation that I’m missing and need to know?”
“I clarify my awareness of what I’m doing to contribute to the chaos.”
Dissolve any harmful thoughts or emotions that keep you ‘in the dark’. It might help to imagine those patterns like dark clouds that obstruct the light. See the darkness dissolve and dissipate into sunlight and clear blue skies.
Before you continue, seal and heal any holes that may have been hidden behind in the darkness. This positive affirmation works very well:
“All holes or leakages are sealed and healed.”
“I head in the direction of healthy protection.”
Be sure to do that both crossed and uncrossed over the midline of your body.
“I understand the part I have played in this situation.”
In this lighter, clearer mind space, ask yourself:
“What makes sense to do next?” or “How can I best protect myself in this situation?”
Congratulations! You’ve taken an important first step towards protecting your Self from being dumped on. Taking the time now to understand how you have unknowingly contributed to your own suffering is truly a gift of self-love.
The following extra-intuitive activities aren’t required, but they can really help you prevent future suffering…
Note: At any point during the rest of this Transformation Game, you may need to go back to the Release Fixations section to look for and clear additional fixations.
Start by Releasing Your Agreement to Continue Harming Yourself in Any Way:
Tell your neurological system that you are done with behavior that puts you in harm’s way. Include buying into conflicts, contradictions, obligations, “duty,” lies, trickery or someone else’s suffering.
“I release my agreement to ____________________________.”
Make a New Intention:
“I am _________________________.”
Reclaim Your Personal Power:
Affirm that you have the ability to change your behavior easily and effectively:
“I reclaim my power, attention and energy.”
Setting Limitations On Your Unconscious Attitudes and Intentions:
If you’re approaching situations with an attitude of “I’m going to fix this,” or “I’m supposed to change how this person is thinking / behaving,” you’re setting yourself up to fall into the dumper/dumpee trap. To avoid it, stay centered and focused on your own integrity.
I close the door in my mind that keeps me preoccupied with the insanity and faults of others. “
“I decide to focus on my Souls purpose and how I can follow through on my own best interests.”
“I close the door to the maze of self-doubt, chaos and confusion.”
“I now choose freedom and integrity.”
Setting Limitations On The Direction You’re Heading:
Going in too many directions keeps you in confusion and chaos. Use this Circle to help you establish a single internal direction that will guide you in your external actions. That will help you to get where you actually want to go!
“I let go of needing to please others. I now head in the direction of my Souls true purpose.”
Gaze at this Circle for several minutes until you feel confident that you’re heading in the direction of your highest good.
Setting Limitations on How You’re Using Your Energy:
Imagine that you can form strong, healthy boundaries with this affirmation:
“I set strong limitations that block shame, blame, frustration, jealousy, impatience, panic and _________.”
“I now access healthy nourishment and support for my Souls purpose.”
Put your feet on the floor and ground in the truth of who you really are.
The fact that you have taken the time now to strengthen your boundaries and protect yourself from shame and blame will serve you well in the weeks and months to come.
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Rheanni Lightwater CHT, CKT lives and practices in Santa Fe, NM. She specializes in mind body healing with family and relationship clearing using Kinesiology, the Intuitive Learning Circles™, Reiki as a Master/Teacher, Hypnotherapy and Shamanic Clearing Techniques.
Schedule with Rheanni via Zoom, Skype or in person when you visit Santa Fe, New Mexico. Call her at (505) 271-4612 between 10:00am – 5:00pm, MST, Monday through Friday to schedule.
This Transformation Game should not be considered as an exclusive method of treatment. The appropriate medical or psychotherapeutic authorities should be consulted for the diagnosis and treatment if there is any medical or psychological condition. The information and practices described on this website are best considered as an adjunct to orthodox medical or psychological treatments.